Inside the Bottle: Looking for the Blue Sky

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That’s me…always looking for the blue sky, it’s always there, just sometimes it gets obscured. Saying that, when the sky is blue, it’s also lovely to have a chance to do a bit of cloud watching….

I (and I am sure many others do too) felt like I’ve been treading water, and for someone who worries when I can’t feel any solid ground beneath me, it’s hard, it can tire you out easily. You look for safety…

There is so much bloody uncertainty around, so, so many plans and hopes have been affected, and most importantly lives have been affected. The human cost…

I like most people have been separated from loved ones, friends, and normality. It’s easy to feel lost…

You see, I really do love interacting with people, laughing, talking, feeling at ease, feeling that I have a purpose (a use). I wrote a review recently and gave it the title “Good Things”…yet, what I had written originally, that was cut and I hastily re-wrote the first paragraph (original is below) as it had no bearing on the whisky, other than it coincided with me savouring that whisky.

A rather sad thought occurred to me a month or so ago, sometimes I don’t even know how to say hello… even though I want to.
 
On several occasions it has been hard to get a word in edgeways too…
 
Again… I hide. I go quiet. I want to reach out, but also yearn to be reached out for.
 
Sometimes… 
 
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I need friendship. I need old times and good memories. I offer that too!! 
 
I need a hand on my back. I need connection.
 
You (I) hide from the brash and (overly) opinionated. It’s better that way…I don’t care to know what people earn (even more so now), (or what they’ve been offered (let’s face it, people are taking their own lives because of money and real life worries)) etc. 
 
I hope 2021 comes soon. I truly know (believe) life will come good. I just wish it was now. Being impatient is my thing…. Always hopeful, and grateful for the good that still exists, I’m thankful for the things that I have.
 
I just (blinking/bloody/fucking) miss life…and I make no apology for swearing.
 
Oh, and PS. Hello…
 
That’s it simply ‘hello’… how are you? I have had some contact with people….and oh my goodness, I hope they realise what that meant….!!
 
Please don’t read this with alarm, read it as if I am reaching out, that in some way I feel I need to apologise for my distance, which is silly, but true. Read it as someone who spotted some blue sky… You can’t change the weather, but you can shelter from the storms.
 

There’s a storm, and it had been raging around me on and off since mid March. It had been dark, it had been intense. It was trying to take my breath away as the wind tore round me, distorting my view. It was sapping my strength… tiring me out.

It created an energy (an emotion) that was begging for release.

I was on my knees… 

Maybe I should give into it, surrender to it?

No. Not my style.

I will harness the energy it has created. I’ll take it and let it come inside me..

The disruption and distractions which it brought in its wake will go. It will burn itself out… the storm will subside. It will pass.

It always does.

“Nana korobi yaoki jinsei wa kore kara da.”

“Fall seven times, rise eight times, life begins now.”

I WANT more (of the good things) I know that. I know it will happen.

As I was contemplating these feelings, I was sat with a cask strength whisky as my companion…it’s making me address the storm….

I guess this is the beauty of whisky… It draws me into it. It captivates me with its aroma, and as I sit and appreciate what’s in my glass, it takes me far away from the storm, and it allows me to appreciate the moments, and curl up in memories (of the good things…there have been wonderful moments during this same period…they keep me focused & smiling, I love that, and I need them…oh, how I need them, and I will fight for them.)

The Devil whispered in my ear, ‘You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.’ Today I whispered in the Devil’s ear, “I am the storm’

Something I have learnt in life is: follow your heart.

I guess that again recently I have had a lot of “you were right(s)”…I think I do tend to agree, especially when I have recalled the situation in which I first spoke. This takes me to following my heart, you can bend, twist and turn to accommodate people, and though this is okay, you also have to protect the one thing that keeps you alive. I very much intend to make a massive effort to do this in all areas of my life. One day I will tell myself “you were right”!!

I promise!!

So, over the past few months… I’ve been getting up, and now travel restrictions have been eased, I can drive to my thinking spot, and wait for the sunrises, waiting for the sun, waiting for the day to say “I’m here”.

What else? I’ve spent some time travelling around distilleries, and as I have mentioned previously, the majority of them are still closed…some have visitor centres that you can pop in to. You can see them from the roadside however. Find a place to park up, get out of the car, stretch your legs and take a ruddy deep breath in….out, and relax. Just be there.

I think it is nice that the trip to and from Dufftown seems quite short these days, I think you get that when you travel somewhere quite regularly, it’s almost as if the familiarity of the journey shortens the distance. Brings it closer. I like that… (read on below.)

When I stop at the distilleries, I think about the times I’ve been there, what were my thoughts, why I enjoyed it…what was it that captured my heart, and why have I sought these out at this time? I think it is because I felt welcomed, or there was something that made me smile, a feeling, or the whisky I bought when I’ve been there, the ones I now enjoy. Sometimes I don’t need to explain it, or even reason it out, I just enjoy the moment and settle into my thoughts, and when I am home, do it with a little something good beside me….bliss x

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