Inside the Bottle: Thinking

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We, I say “we” but I probably mean me… we keep things bottled up like a good whisky, but sometimes, just sometimes by doing that we might mistakenly not realise what is inside the bottle. More importantly, do we actually care?

Maybe Not

Do I?

Do I think too much? Maybe.

Do I care too much? Possibly (read that as ‘yes!’) But I do care about what matters most in my life.

Do I stand on the sidelines and watch? Oh hell yes!!

I might have my quieter times much like the protracted one I am in now, and in these moments I find this always gives me time to have a little insight into the interactions of people and also the way those you might have thought of as ‘friends’ then act, or don’t.

I’ve been down, or is it sad? Probably sad, and feeling lonely… (being alone and being lonely are two different things too.) C’est la vie! Shit happens. Life is like that – well it shouldn’t be, but there it is, it is what it is.

A friend at work asked me how I was the other week, my “I’m okay (with tears spontaneously plopping down my cheeks)” warranted the “why is it I always have a habit of making you cry if I ask how you are?” My response was simple… “because when you ask it feels like you are actually asking how I am!”.

And…?

Anyway all of this got me to thinking, and I often wonder if this whisky community is the place it once was, if it was ever the place to be, and is it that friendly?

This place used to show more kindness and friendship…. It used to be more about the banter and laughs, not nastiness or point scoring (and I don’t mean the whisky!!)

As I was writing, this song came on and the lyrics are quite apt.. for me it’s the love of what is inside the bottle or inside the glass, the dreams of… whatever. Do you understand?

And in my mind, in my head
This is where we all came from
The dreams we have, the love we share
This is what we’re waiting for
And in my mind, in my head
This is where we all came from
The dreams we have, the love we share
This is what we’re waiting for

Dynoro & Gigi D’Agostino

I think to a certain degree it has changed, and then the question as to if it has changed for the worse?

I have shied away from things including social media on several occasions over the last 18 – 24 months or so, the reasons for this are mine and mine alone, but over the same period of time I have seen people be unkind and show animosity towards others…I see some trying to trip others up. I (and others) have been targets of a campaign of bullying (and yes I have the threatening email from one of them.  They just don’t like it when you call them on it!!) And yes some of their ‘acquaintances’ have basically blanked me from that point. I could ask them why they don’t talk anymore, but I guess like so many other things in life I’m just too tired to care… I do always wonder though that if it was them that were the targets how they would have reacted? I am only mentioning this again because it is still apparent that some of those opinions still hold true and very few of you actually realise the damage it caused!!

Whisky events should be fun. Yet, there have been times when I was aware someone was giving me (therefore presumably others) dirty looks, I expect that was because they didn’t realise I was watching them (doing it), or when someone constantly walks in front of you as if you don’t exist (but believe me I do)… then to top it all they play nicely in public because I imagine they have to be perceived as being “nice”…

For the record:

Nice has manners

Nice doesn’t judge people on their appearance

Nice is kind, courteous, and friendly

We should remember that life is so very short and somewhat fragile.. surely we should enjoy it instead of causing angst!! Me, I like the simple pleasures of life, I love seeing the day break with a beautiful sunrise, and the day drawing to a close while looking at the stars, but that feels like it shouldn’t matter. It does though. It matters a lot. I have a heart full of love. I love the countryside, nature, talking, losing myself in a special dram… a lot of us do. Anyway, I am just being me.. love me or hate me! I should also speak my mind more, yes this can get me into trouble (and that’s not all in a negative way!), but I’m just being me, however perhaps a more guarded me.

I did have a few people read between the lines over the past little while, they probably got an insight into the way I am feeling. I am so grateful for the time they took to check up on me and for listening… Ordinarily I am the one worrying about everyone else, asking how they are, or if there was anything I could do to help. I think my brother hit the nail on the head a few weekends back after a long chat, he said “I don’t know how you did all of that sis?!” Neither do I to be fair, but I am still here… I’m probably stronger than I give myself credit for?

Shhh…

Someone becoming still, quiet, stepping back or absent doesn’t necessarily mean they have depression. It could simply mean they need thinking time, a friend or a listening ear or just a good old hug, you know, one of the ones where you hope it will make all the broken bits of you stick together again.

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They might even be gathering their strength to stand tall again.. yep all 5′ 5.5″ of it!! I guess what I am saying is that it is this: we all have hopes and dreams.

Shouldn’t we hold out a hand of friendship / support and assist others? Can’t we see that we all have things we need to fix, remedy, heal from, achieve etc. etc. no one truly knows what another is facing… Stop the petty one-upmanship, evidently not all will agree with you / your style of delivery or whatever, it doesn’t make you wrong it just means your audience likes what you do. Stop bullying people. Stop being prats. Speak up. Be proud… 

Fucking keep on fighting for what you love!!

I know I will!!

So…

…all in all some of it has changed, but those that stay true, they are the ones I will call my friends. I’m hoping my confidence will return, I might even look at my timelines (because I’m not really doing that either) and actually have the guts to come back properly again… 

Inside the Bottle – the Contents 

Inside the Bottle: Dreams and Wishes 

All I know is this…

dreams can come true, and

wishes can come true….

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